To the rosebuds and warrior queens: Woman, you are phenomenal.

What does it take to be regarded as a “phenomenal woman”? Is it the size of the “child-bearing” hips; or the ability to create mouth-watering cuisines in the kitchen; is it the ability to cure the hardest of hearts; is it standing firmly even when you want to topple over and cry? There is no manual or check-list on phenomenal qualities or a guaranteed method to be a phenomenal woman. It is a daily and constant ritual of introspection, crying, healing and most importantly, loving.

This week marks the last week of National Woman’s month in South Africa and I thought this would serve as a great opportunity to salute the phenomenal woman within us. It’s true, we are all phenomenal females but it is bounded and tied down with so many things like pain, fear, jealousy, insecurities, ignorance, materialism, immorality and so much more toxic waste that we have totally lost touch of our value as women. How long will we stay shackled down instead of releasing ourselves and celebrating at least a portion of who we are? We cannot nurture, protect, love and hold what is without when we fail to do so with what is within. Begin first, by loving and truly cherishing yourself then you will go out into the world and spread that powerful spirit and warmth.

If we look at Christianity, it is said that God created woman out of the rib of man so he could have a loyal companion. This story can be dissected in so many ways but the one’s that stick out to me the most are that 1) Yes, we are partly made from our opposite sex but the remaining 80% is something unique to us. Let us stop trying to be like men, to be equal to men and turning everything into a battle of the sexes. We have our role and so do they: victory will never be gained because it is a war not even worth starting. 2) Woman was created to aid man in bringing goodness into and taking care of the Earth. We may masculate ourselves as much as we want but our role will always be to aid, nurture and take care of the basics and loopholes that a man cannot fulfil and maintain.

I know the power of a woman because I was raised by one. I know how a woman can bear 9 months of uncomfortable pregnancy, hours of agonising pain from labour and raise a baby into a humble, educated and amazing human being. I say this because everything that I am and know would not be here if it had not been for the phenomenal woman that birthed me. We face struggles but we have to press on. I believe our role as women is huge. We are not here just to be sisters, friends, lovers, daughters, mothers... We are here to serve a much greater purpose. We are here to birth nations and raise phenomenal contributors to society. We are here to guide, correct, aid and love. But we will not begin acting like the empresses that we are meant to be until we realise it and start empowering ourselves.

To stand firm we need to help each other to stand firm, encourage and see good in your fellow sisters so there can be more strong hands carrying human kind.

Little girl you are beautiful and precious.

Young lady you are special and deserve to be respected.

Young woman you do not need a man to sustain you for you are abundantly blessed with your own qualities and potential.

Woman you have made it and may you continue to build our young people into amazing individuals.

Set your standards, know who you are, identify your goals, find your purpose then commit to this and live to the best of your ability. Without love this can never be achieved and it all begins within.

Be proud of who you are and who you are yet to become, celebrate your strengths and let your trials build you, do not sacrifice your standards and values but always remember to remain humble and compassionate in your endeavours. Become a woman who knows who she is and her purpose, a woman who is driven not only by her own desires but also those of others. To the rose buds, warm sun rays, flourishing gardens and stable earth of the world: We are all phenomenal!

Let’s have a great week J

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: Woman: you are strong, phenomenal, blessed and able.

QUOTE: “We are not so frail after all, but rather, our frailty lies in our forgetfulness of just how incredible we are” – Candice Mncwabe (Quote taken from my speech ‘frailty, thy name is woman’ – 2008)

Mid-week Thoughts.

I want to write about fear soon but fear governs my life so much I am not sure where to begin. I am brave only for a second then plunged into doubt again. Why is it so hard to teach the heart to love again, to teach the soul to breathe again and to tell these bruised knees that the legs can walk again? Without fear of going through the dismays of the past. This one, I will research properly and bring forth a true piece on "Being Brave enough to walk again". We are all re-building and renewing. Stay Committed. :)

It is not only the giant who is strong ..

“Dear Brave Souls,

The Strange Strengths of the Mind-Body, the Spirit-Heart and Soul. It is not only the giant who is strong... Tis a wonder, so seriously to see the miniature world wherein each tiny being matters as much as the world writ big, and more easily seen”

This is an excerpt posted by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes on her facebook page. An amazing author and lover of people. It struck me really hard because how often do we doubt our strength and completely dismiss our potential? It’s true; we are our own worst enemies. Who needs enemies when you have a negative voice in your head? Pounding you into the ground and disarming you of your strength. “It is not only the giant who is strong...” says this mother of brave souls, the inspiration behind her ode to the strength of mind, body and soul was evoked when she observed a tiny ant carrying a large leaf. How often have we all seen this image yet totally missed the lesson that nature was discreetly giving us? That an animal so small could walk a distance a thousand times its size, carrying an enormous object, all day and every day. Relentlessly going about its duties, never faltering. This is not a hippie, poetic outlook on life but it is simply fact.

The great men and women that we admire and praise for achieving unbelievable feats are just that, ordinary men and women. They do not possess some cyber gene or extra-terrestrial spiritual power that gave them the strength and wisdom to achieve all that they have. Now, I am not saying that in each and everyone one of us lies a professor, a president or a great inventor. We all have our own gifts and unlimited potential to maximise on them and do the unthinkable.

Strength has got nothing to do with the stature, status or even magnitude of an individual. It lies in the will to succeed, the urge to achieve and the spirit to keep going against all odds. But, it begins with something so simple: believing in yourself. There is no way that someone will take you seriously when you doubt yourself, so let us start then by looking in the mirror and acknowledging the amazing individual staring back at us. Acknowledge her beauty, recognise her existence, find her strength and invest wholeheartedly into celebrating what she has to offer.

I have doubted myself and my mind many times, diminished my hopes because I thought they were in vain. Told myself that failure means that I am destined for the mundane because well, the stars are just too high for you honey. But, there is always that “joie de vivre”, that urge to survive that I mentioned last week that keeps one going if they only listen to it. The homeless person who still gets the urge and strength to wake up every morning and look for food and more “homely” shelter, where does he get his desire to live from? Are you not better off then? Equipped with better tools and the comfort of a home and food? You have better weapons to fight and yet you stand and admit defeat instead of fighting for your life. We cannot wait until we have lost everything to start appreciating our lives, we cannot wait till we lie in hospital with 6 months to live till we tap into that drive and will to take one more breath and one more step. No-one will do it for you. We may encourage each other but we cannot walk our paths for each other.

In each of us lies a warrior. Inside you lies insurmountable strength: find it today.

“For those who have ears to hear: La Vos, The Voice, ever bends near, whispers to us, reminding: Devotion to the work – carrying the leaf, the hefty stack, and Daily” – Dr. Clarissa PinkolaEstes

Indeed, it all begins with committing to the small blocks that make up your life: your morning jog, your make-up routine, your prayers, your job... And, just holding on and making a concerted effort, daily, to become a stronger and more hopeful person.

I trust this has helped shed a few burdensome doubts and fears.

Let’s have a great week J

QUOTE: “Grain by grain, a loaf. Stone upon stone, a palace” – George Shaw

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: Each small successive step step that you take will one day resemble one giant leap.

Finding the power to love ourselves enough to speak and share

We don’t speak. Why is that?

We sweep everything under the rug, we mask our feelings and we conceal who we really are. Why is that? What sparked this thought in my mind was a poem I heard this past weekend. How we are a world that chooses not to express or acknowledge but to go along living ACTING as if we are oblivious to everything.

After pondering over this I decided to look at myself, because to understand human nature we can only begin by analysing that which we know most accurately which is: Self. I am an introvert, and have always been one. However, I am more of an introvert now than when I was say, 5 years ago. What changed this? Simply put betrayal and let-downs cause us to plunge into a safety net which is “distance”. We distance ourselves. I know that that is exactly why I have become more of an “inward” person. There is something terrible that happens when people betray you but more vicious when people who you brought into the most inner caves of your heart and life turn around and slice through your soul leaving painful gashes that refuse to heal. Immediately then, one builds up walls and we step into a state of survival. That is how simple nature is; from Darwin’s Theory of “natural selection” we see that it is an integral seed buried in all of us. We simply want to survive and will adopt whatever mechanisms seem most effective for this.

And yet, what makes it tougher is that people will try and dig you out of your safety because they feel like they are losing you or they do not know you enough. Truth is we do not talk because our words fall on ears that are plastered with ignorance and selfish motives most of the time. I know I’m not the only one that has heard the saying: “Do not tell people your problems. 80% are curious and 20% are glad you have them”. I might be a few words off but the idea is essentially the same. I am not a cynic and I totally love life and people but we simply cannot ignore reality. One could say then, that I am a realist with high hopes. How then do we move from a state of fear into a state of being comfortable enough to be who we are with no inhibitions?

The first problem of being a selfish and judgemental people is that we do not even love and appreciate ourselves. We are unhappy with who we are and so fearful of what we could or could not become that we let this filter into how we treat others. And so, we wait to spot a weakness in the next person so we may maximise on it and ignore our own insecurities. If we can accept ourselves, faults and all, we can accept the next person and celebrate their strengths without feeling in danger of being outshone. The second problem that we simply must overcome is that living a life that is fenced with thick brick walls and electric fencing will not only shut out the world but it will shut out our potential as well. Pain and disappointment are inevitable factors of life and whether you hide behind a boulder or live freely or carelessly, you will go through it. So then, we need to embrace failure and learn from pain, emerging though, as wiser and stronger creatures that can overcome even greater obstacles. Emerging as a person who knows himself/herself better. I too, am on this journey of regeneration and growth, so let’s all try a bit harder.

If we can first love, accept and know who we are; Loving, accepting and knowing the next person can be that easier.

Let’s have a great week! J

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: Find and love yourself, flaws and all.

QUOTE: “The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it” – Thucydides (Greek Historian & Author)

Dare to Live!

I have always loved writing. Words have always been my escape. Written and spoken word has been my greatest platform, the very canvas that my thoughts and experiences could freely dance upon. I kid you not; I wrote my first short song when I was about 3 years old. Hilarious! Yet, the older I got the more I released my passion and focused on what I thought was more “logical”. Long story short, my manager read one of my poems and nudged me into entering a poetry competition a week ago. I was scared, the task seemed too daunting but I did it anyway (this past weekend) and I absolutely loved the experience. The experience is still very raw in my mind because the auditions were only just yesterday, on Saturday. The anxiety of waiting for feedback from the judges does not even match up to the liberation and enlightenment and joy of unleashing what I had swept under the rug and inter-acting with so many talented artists. I decided to centre this week’s blog on that: taking risks and being a bit more daring.

A risk does not have to be a death defying act or rebellious stunt, there is no scale that has been set out to measure what is and what isn’t. A risk is simply what you fear doing because it is outside of your comfort zone or you are scared of unsettling anyone by doing what you would love to do. How long then will you keep snipping and cutting your creative, frayed endings just to seem proper and collected to everyone else? When deep down inside you have a burning desire to be released and explore a little further.

From starting a business to joining a dancing class, just do it. If you are really serious and committed to living an authentic and fulfilling life you will do it. Forget about your fears for a minute and feed a different entity, feed your dreams. See, at the end of the day you are the one responsible for your life. You reap the rewards, you face the consequences and only you truly revel in the contentment you get from exploring what you desire. Pick up that pen, take the sheet off that canvas, mix your paints, buy those jogging sneakers, join that gym, wake up an hour earlier to read that book, register for that course, buy that recipe book, take that holiday, draft that business plan: whatever it is, just do it! I don’t know what everyone’s dreams are but the possibilities are endless, I simply can’t list them all.

Life is not a confinement that’s fenced with barbwire, holding us captive in cages. It is a giant pool of possibilities and freedom. Dare yourself this week to do at least one thing that you have been aching to do or begin but fear has been holding you back. So what if it does not work out? Experience is the best teacher and you will know that you are a daring and courageous individual with enormous potential.

Let’s have a daring and awesome week! J

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: Dare to LIVE!

QUOTE: “Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing” – Hellen Keller