It is so hard to write about something you are not and
something you have been confused about for ages. Whenever I mention women
empowerment I get questioned about men. Truth is 1) I do not understand men
because I am not one 2) The men I essentially grew up with were my brothers and
my grandfather. They have always been and still are quite protective and caring
towards me, but that has not stopped me from venturing out into the world and
meeting what some would call the beasts of the male gender and had my views on
men completely turned around. Indeed, I am one of those women that have been on
this “I hate men” tangent for years. Did it make me a better woman? Not really.
Last week I spoke about phenomenal women and mentioned that this is not a battle
and men have their role and so do we, but somehow, amidst the revolutions and
battle for control, it has become imbalanced and a game of “who is better than whom”.
Some say that women have lost respect in themselves and that is the reason for
the societal breakdown of men, but question is, what about the respect that men
are supposed to have for themselves? Are you playing your role?
My first point will be Respect. As our opposite sex, the one
that The Bible claims was supposed to work “in union” with us to take care of
the world; is it not a fair and essential requirement to have respect? See a
phenomenal man is one that respects a woman and respects himself. Respecting himself
and her enough to treat her with respect and also act in a respectable manner. A
majority of men have lost that. I don’t know who is to blame but maybe blaming
the male species would render some change. Its introspection time gentlemen.
Are you being a phenomenal man, a good representation of your gender?
The second point I would say is
Loyalty; whether it is in a relationship or beyond that and loyalty to one’s
family. Sure, the statistics are shocking and families are hardly stable. In
SA, only 35% of kids are raised by their biological parents. The reasons for
this are vast and some beyond my scope but my question is: does a failed
relationship mean you cannot be loyal to and take of your seed? Introspection
brothers! Without a mother nurturing a family it falls apart and without a
father as a guide and pillar of strength it falls apart too. This union between
the two genders was created for reason, if we only put our issues and ego’s
aside and play our roles, being our best versions a remedy can be formed.
My last point which encompasses
it all is Love and hard work. Self-love means that you care about yourself
enough to be your best version and do your best to be a great contributor to
the world’s wellbeing, hard work means that you will set out goals and dreams
for yourself and persevere towards them relentlessly, with discipline and passion.
Knowing that as a man, you have a great role to play and you have to earn your
place on your throne. But, you cannot claim your crown when your actions do not
exude that of someone who regards themselves as royalty. Introspection time,
gentlemen. Women cannot rise to the pinnacles of it all and hold the whole
world making sure that everyone is happy, this union is there so both genders
can support each other. So before you
blame a woman for acting “cheap”, how about you show her that she is worthy of
a bit more than what she is selling herself
for? We are responsible for ourselves but we also have a duty as human beings
to aid and support.
I have been one of those angry
and resentful women and vowed to never respect and not acknowledge any man that
enters what is My Life. It has taken fights, arguments, talks, patience and
tear-stained pillows out of my frustration, fears and defiance but I am
definitely learning that there are remarkable men out there. Those that see
beyond what the world calls a “pretty face”. It is not easy, but can we respect
and honour the good men in our spheres and also encourage the rest to step up and
Become honourable men. It takes a phenomenal woman to recognise a phenomenal
man and to support him into taking his throne beside her or his throne in his
life. Let us empower our brothers, fathers, friends, lovers, bosses,
acquaintances, and then maybe, they will recognise the good in them and act on
it.
It has been a battle for me to
get statistics on the number of single fathers in SA, but in America alone
there are 1.7 million of single fathers; 15% of the single parents there are
males. These are the males that I am highlighting today. It is not all bad, and
it can be better.
It is not a battle or a war, it
is a journey of rediscovery and healing, of two genders that have to rise above
the past mishaps and love and respect each other: each being their best
version. I believe this is possible.
Let's have a great week! :)
Let's have a great week! :)
QUOTE: “You are above and beyond
your thoughts and ego. You are the witness, the interpreter” _ Chopra
Foundation
(Follow Deepak Choprah’s page on
twitter on @SagesScientists or check out their website on http://www.choprafoundation.org for
insightful thoughts on life)
References for statistics:
1) The
Newsroom: http://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/facts-for-features-special-editions/cb12-ff11.html
Eish... i hear you, however some women too have lost themselves and expect the worst from men therefore ruining the relationship or even a friendship before it takes off. We live in a fast paced world, people don't have time to stop and look within themselves. It's an unfortunate reality. With all the teenage pregnancies, how many kids will know their real fathers? How many will be raised within a proper family structure? The vicious chain is getting longer and longer.
ReplyDeleteIt is a battle, I agree. That's why I actually think that the responsibility is on both genders. I actually spoke about the same thing this weekend with a friend of mine, how we go in expecting the worst and so push someone to give us the worst. Truth is we are all healing and changing at least one person's mindset, empowering just one man to step up, instilling strength and respect in just one woman can make a change because that can have a ripple effect on others. We can't heal past mishaps and present situations like broken families but we can heal the individuals, I grew up without a father but my mother has been more than a mom and dad, she has been my pillar of strength and friend. Like every parent and sibling we have our differences but she made me who I am, a strong stable woman.
DeleteIt is not impossible. Hope for better, prepare for the best :)